Thanks to movies like Juno, Knocked Up and those 30-foot-billboards erected by pro-life activists, abortion rates are at their lowest since Roe vs. Wade, according to a recent report by the Guttmacher Institute. Or is it that women are simply miscarrying their aborning fetuses by drinking too much coffee?
An article posted today on CNN.com reveals that caffeine may increase the risk of miscarriage, but fails to mention the implications this study may have for my favorite celebrity du jour, 'lil Spears. Jamie Lynn, here is a cup o' joe on me. And no, I didn't add Splenda—that would be bad for the baby (followed by malicious chuckle). Drink up, blondie.
**note that when I described the billboards, I employed the term "erected" as a tongue-in-cheek sexual reference; also note that the CNN headline accompanying the caffeine article ("Study: Caffeine may boost miscarriage risk") attempted the same verb appropriation, but failed miserably. One refers to boosting sales or boosting morale, not boosting miscarriages. Way to be sensitive CNN. Way to be sensitive.
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